16th April 2020.

I have been spending some time this week trying to do fun activities with my son, Jake. As with most things since Zeus was born, nothing quite feels right anymore, everything feels like a double edged sword on one hand I love Jake more than words can express so spending time with him is lovely and it allows chances to reconnect but it also highlights to me that Zeus is not here and I wont ever be able to do these things with him.

One of the many thing HG caused was separation from my son, not physically except the overnight stays for fluids of course but emotionally. During my pregnancy, I was so ill that even sitting on the sofa hugging my son would often cause a wave of nausea to hit me and send me running to the bathroom to vomit. So we were not as close and we did not do many activities together for the best part of a year which is why I decided to use this forced isolation time to reconnect.